...I can understand what that's like.

[As Merlin, himself, would know. Given he was one of the few she'd shared most of her awful past with to date.]

But...even so...it's not right to use your past as an excuse. Not in something like this. Even if she's not ready to talk about whatever had happened to her...you can still talk about this much. And I hope you do. For both your sakes.