shroudedinsecrecy | INBOX (IC)

[...well, technically she would have been hung, but semantics.]

I know.

But...it's alright, Merlin. I've spent so much of my life having to hold things inside and keep secrets from people...it's almost a relief to have someone to talk to about everything.

[ Either way it leads to death!!! ]

Well you can. Whenever you want, I mean. I don't mind listening. [ Even if he isn't sharing his own thoughts... ] With anything, really.

That's very sweet of you.

[Even if he never did share his own thoughts. Long as it had taken her to reach a point of openness, she would hardly expect the same from him if he wasn't ready.]

Goodness, though. There's...just so much. I know you already know some of it--[Thanks to a few momentary outbursts in the past.]--but...well, I suppose you can say my life has been full of extreme ups and downs.

Not really, it's just what a friend does, right?

[ Apparently...... ]

They definitely seem like extremes, anyway.

...very extreme.

[She also did not mind admitting that much.]

Within the last five years, I'd both found a love I'd never though I'd have the chance to feel...and been betrayed by the people who should have been closest to me.

[ He looks sympathetic though. ]

No one deserves to be betrayed. Though the love is definitely an upside to things, right?

[She nodded a little shyly at that.]

I only wish...it hadn't taken us so long.

But then, that was my fault as well.

It was? [ He tilts his head at that, though he leans back a little when their orders arrive, the waitress setting them on the table with a smile. Merlin tells her thank you, but it's distracted, he's too focused on Iris herself. ]

[She nodded. And smiled a sad smile.]

When Feenie and I first met...I lied to him.

I told him I was my sister.

[ Some things are starting to add up now when she admits that. The story she wrote, what she said earlier about Phoenix forgiving her and everything. ]

But he loved you for you, not someone you were pretending to be, right?

[ Unlike him who is hiding an entire past that shows him to be a lot colder than he wants to be... sort of, anyway. ]

[He does now. Of that, she had every confidence, although...back then...]

It's a little...more complicated than that.

You see...the only reason I met him in the first place was to pretend to be my sister. She had met him first, and...well...she had done something bad. And she needed to hide the evidence. So she gave it to him and pretended it was a gift out of love at first sight.

When she tried to get it back...Dahlia always had a...violent way of handling things and people in her way. And I didn't want her to have any more blood on her hands, so I begged her to let me take her place. I colored my hair, and on our first date, I pretended I was that same girl he met the first time in hopes of getting that evidence back.

[ Back then... it was different. He gets it. He stays quiet and just sips at his drink when she starts talking. He doesn't want to try eating when she's talking about all of this. It's important. ]

But you ended up falling for him while pretending to be her? [ It's romantic, even if it's a messed up situation that caused it. ]

...yes.

[There was no denying that much. She had never meant him any harm, but she also had never expected that turn of events.]

We were together for almost a year. I did keep trying to get the gift back, yes, but...I also had the chance to spent time with him. Get to know him. His hopes and dreams and learn the way he saw things. One day, I realized...that I was happy. Just being with him. That I hated the lies and deception. I...I was almost ready to finally tell him the truth, even, before...Dahlia took it upon herself to act.

She'd grown impatient with me. Maybe she knew my feelings had changed. Maybe she thought I would betray her. Maybe I would have. I can't say for certain now. But...she tried to kill him, only she ended up killing a friend of his instead. And she pinned the murder on him. When they found the poor boy's body...it was Dahlia pretending to cry over him, playing the role of first on the scene.

I was so ashamed of everything that I...ran back to Hazakura Temple, where I remained for the next five years. Hidden so well that I might never have existed at all. And in all that time, Feenie was never the wiser. He continued to think Dahlia and I were the same person...and that "I" had betrayed him.

[ That I hated the lies and deception. I was almost ready to finally tell him the truth... It all rings too true, honestly. He, in comparison, probably mirrored Dahlia just as much though. Iris never did anything that would truly tarnish her hands. She kept a promise to a loved one, and tried to get something back.

She didn't have blood on her hands in the same way, at least from what she's told him here.

His eyes lower to the table, gut churning a bit.

He doesn't really want to eat anymore. ]

He must be a good person, to forgive five years of doubt like that.

[She noticed his eyes lower, and could only wonder what was going through his mind. How much of it was a reflection of what he was learning about her...or Feenie...or, perhaps, even himself. Stories tended to do that. Find a way for the listener to relate, if the parallel was evident enough.]

More than that.

When I finally told him...after all that time had passed...do you know what he said to me? He said that he'd still believed in me all those years. That he never could accept the same person he'd spent that nearly a year with could do the kinds of things my sister did.

It's like he somehow knew before he really knew. Because that's the kind of person he is. He believes in people with all his heart, no matter how strong the evidence might be against them.

[ She's making him see a new, nicer and more promising side to Phoenix by telling him this too. Maybe he was an idiot with some things (like publicly trying to get him to come forward when his and Athena's relationship was supposed to be a secret at the time) but... if he can believe in someone like this.

He sounds like a good person.

It only makes him feel worse about himself though. The choices he makes, has to make in the future (and he's seen one thanks to Rei, knows he's doomed to set the Great Dragon on Camelot when he frees it, but the promise has already been made) and he can't help but think over how much he is keeping to himself.

His eyes flicker to his drink and he reaches out to take a sip, buying time.

Softly, after he finishes sipping and puts the drink down, he says: ] There aren't many people like that.

[That was the point. Not to make him or anyone feel guilty for not doing or acting the way Phoenix did. But simply to have them see what she saw. Perhaps she was biased, Blinded by love. But the facts were facts, as one believed in the courtroom, and it was difficult to argue with honest testimony and witnessed actions.]

[He had done those things. He had said those things. And, just as he had believed in her, she believed in him. It was...a comforting feeling. To have that much trust in someone. She didn't want to let that go. Ever.]

There could be.

We just don't always know it. Not everybody is who they seem at first. I've learned that all too well.

[ Nah, even if he's too Dad-like and teases people too much, he definitely seems like a good guy. He can't fault him now, not after hearing all that. ]

Not everybody. But I don't see why anyone would pretend to not be like it if they are on the inside.

[ A beat: ] Unless you're counting the fact that Athena has a good heart but keeps hitting me?

[ A ... H... ]

[...]

["Ah", indeed.]

She...keeps hitting you?

[ Um... ]

Only when I compliment her?

[ what kind of twisted relationship is this anyway ]

[That's what she would like to know.]

She hits you...when you compliment her?

I don't...understand. That doesn't sound like a good thing to me.

[ Let him know when you figure it out, Iris... ]

Sometimes? She just gets really embarrassed I mean she's kind of... a violent girl anyway, right?

[ ?????????????????? ]

[Will do.]

Not that I...I mean, I don't think I remember her being particularly violent. Just...a little loud. Often.

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person she's hit, you know? [ She flipped a policeman, Iris... ofc she is. At least a little. ]

...who else?

[Was she going to have to have a talk with Miss Cykes?]

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action; dgkjdsg i've done that too 8(

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